1. No Gay no AKB

2. No FAP no AKB

3. No Loli no AKB

4. No Takamina no AKB

5000. No Yukirin no <insert curse word here> AKB!!!!!!

My Top 5 Golden Rules…

Warning: Bandwidth raep images (some PNG @ 3 megs) ahead so be patient for load times or use the usual magic trick (reload/refresh)

 

First things first, White Team so OWN’d this shit it was a joke! Now not to say Red team was a walking mat, nope! But I well be getting to my favourite performances later. And White Team didn’t 100% smooth – Looking at you Tomochin~ Like, WTF was that?!

There are some things that I have come to expect from every big AKB event and one of them is Mayuki. Seriously, every time there has to be something with these two. It happens that I have come to accept it as my daily bread. So you can imagine what would happen if we never got one, like, next Jan’s Request Hour! If you can’t, well, let’s just say it will be painted bloody red that’s for sure…

Soon Mayuki will be a new rule on my list…Soon!

Back to the performances themselves, I don’t know if I should call AkiP a genius or a bully!

On one hand he made these great decisions;

 

Giving Rena Yukirin’s “Kuchi Utsushi no Chocolate”.

OMG! Rena in Yukirin costume?!!! AHHHHHHHHHH

Can’t believe something so simple makes me feel strange! Damn you MG!

She should have dumped the pig tails though, they somehow make her look more slutty…

 

Then Rena had to give up Rain Pianist to Miichan, Haachan and Shihorin.

Miichan totally nailed it!

Why exactly this girl isn’t in senbatsu yet, shall forever remain a mystery!

 

I’m the mutha fukkin Takamina bitches. I don’t change the music.
The music changes for me!

Need I say more?

U all ma bitches!

 
 
 

While Takamina gets the rules to change for her as she melts BEGINNER a la acoustic, Yuko goes and totally shreds her “Itoshisa no Accel” like a BOSS!

Needless to say, Acchan had no chance with her cover of Rena’s “Kareha no Station”. That is, if this was about the two of them…*rolls eyes*

To make things even staler, our own Sayaka goes and perfectly moulds Acchan’s “FLOWER’ like there was no tomorrow!

Isn’t it sad Acchan~

 

Totally lying through her teeth!

White team wasn’t without problems as I said, the main one being Tomochin’s cover of Yukirin’s “Yokaze no Shiwaza”. She was so nervous I could even feel it all the way across the seas!

Well if she was after some Yukirin mothering, she sure got some!

Also please let me take this moment to gush…

Yukirin’s LEGS! OMG!!!!

Ahem. Forgive this lost puppy!

Now that I have gotten that of my chest, let’s get back to business.

I’m happy to note that Tomochin’s nervous breakdowns were kinda cancelled by (Oh the irony) Sasshi’s cover of her solo debut single hit “Dear J”.

Seriously, I kind of enjoyed Sasshi’s take on Dear J. Her voice fit the sing so perfect I almost got scared, but then I remembered she was on white team covering a white team’s solo so everything was A-okay.

Too bad I gave that round to Sayaka’s “FLOWER”. I digress and feel ashamed to confess that I haven’t seen Acchan’s actual version of it but I doubt she did it as passionately as Sayaka did.

I doubt it…

 

 
 


 

Oh Jesus!

Stare in shock as your pants unbutton and your skirts unzip on their own as they beacon your hands to get over with it!

Man~ NMB is just so…

You know what, If by fates I change my mind later on and have a kid of my own, I am gonna name them Sayaka! There has to be som kind of spell that comes automatically attached to that name!

Crud, now I am imagining all kinds of scenarios where Akimoto and Yamamoto battle it out for supremac——Oh shi…My mind just went blank there for a second. Couldn’t handle the EPICnss of it all!

Yeah~

Speaking of NMB48…

Ma~chun!!!!!

Random shots of my Oshi in NaMBa

So disappoint she didn’t get to shine but alas, there were many other girls that didn’t get to. Now I am questioning what in God’s name went on in all those 4 hours!!!!!!

Sigh

Continuing on…

 
 

Oh Lawd

Mayuyu and Jurina performing the legendary “Temo Demo no Namida”! AkiP you devil you!

I can name fingers and point names™ of people who totally jizzed at this!

I gotta say that while I don’t do Mayuyu/Jurina but rather Nezumi/Centre, this performance had the steam to heat me up as well. I guess they channelled their MG chemistry in this.

PS: Where is that third season AkiP?

 
 

While we are still running the gaydar, in comes Mocchi and Mikapon’s with their take on the godly “Kinjirareta Futari”.

DAT song, damn it all DAT song!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh

I kind of wish it was Aki-chan. Mikapon seemed to find the song some what funny, which rubbed me the wrong way. Won’t you be serious for one moment damn you?!

Sigh

But things then got quite awkward…

 
 
 

Awww Yeah~

Well, pretty awkward if you were there live. To those of us who were watching in the optimum underground cover privacy of our rooms, the only issue was whether we had enough tissues!

Oh shi…did I just rhyme?

Anyways, people were lost onto whether FAP or or what, when they were suddenly dumped with a chilli hot coverage of the infamous “Skirt Hirari” by an army of 14 year olds!

You got that right!

Damn AkiP! give a man a break over here. You are a man too so you should be aware of the problems that come with being stuck in “The tower of Babylon” mode, surely!

As for yours truly, the major fact was that the army included not only JURINA (Takahashi juri and Kawaei Rina) but there was THE Non and TEH Yuria-peace!

Needless to say, last night I didn’t fall asleep.

I PASSED OUT!

Amen

That’s all well and good but there was a WTF award performance as well.

 
 

Mariko-sama and NyanNyan ‘s “Tonari no Banana”!

What the hell AkiP?

Seriously, WTF?!!

Well at least they nailed it 120%.

~

And with that dear readers, is all the memories I have of last night’s 4 hour watching of AKB48’s Uta gassen battle.

About time you got tired reading this crap any ways, am I right?

Well then till next time.

╣░Merry Christmas░╠