Matsui Rena!

Caps galore ahead!

Yes. Yes! Oh! Gods yes!!!

The answer to Iromoea is here. Danso Battle! Where moe battle had guests come in a put on these moe lights that turn on when you get excited, this time the other members themselves are the guests! The fact that they aren’t wearing the lights though is a let down for we never know what they really feel but alas, that’s just a small step back.

Let’s Danso!

Getting back on track here, the new segment started latest AKBINGO episode. Let’s see what we have here.

Each time there will be twenty members present to vote. There is guest as well to give us input of the contestants’ choice of attire. The bad boys are here as well of course. I like that they add the extra laugh into the show.

She is a girl! I sure was as surprised as Oota!

Queen Dolce explains to us what Danso means – Them ladies will dress up as manly as possible to the point of turning the other members gay for them. As if they weren’t gay for each other already! Heh!

Sashihara is already gay for the Danso even before they start.

I feel the same way Rino-chan. I do!

There’s something wrong with Jurina!

She was talking at the speed of light that even Sata went Ehh?! Maybe her mouth was racing as fast as her  heart was! She was also picked quite a lot to give her opinion. Looks like someone is being promoted even more! As if her age wasn’t already doing that! She is 13 people! 13 years old. or was that twelve??!

The contestants this round.

Shinoda Mariko, Kojima Haruna, Matsui Rena(SKE48) and Akimoto Sayaka who is in AKB48 with the other two, respectively.

Salary-man

First up is Shinoda Mariko dressed up as a typical Japanese Salary man. But that wasn’t enough. She added on the glasses for sure kill. Suit + Glasses hmm.Her co-star is none other than Maeda Atsuko. And the crowd goes wild!

Kasai more so than the rest!

Kasai Tomomi was like in heat this time around! She was staring at Mariko like she was one to run up to the altar during a wedding and runaway with the groom!

Secretary Atsuko is having technical problems. She’s thinking of quitting the job. Manager Shinoda ain’t having none of that though. The damn mouse needs more force than secretary Maeda can provide to move. Manager Shinoda provides some of hers by placing her hand on secretary Maeda’s and together they un-delete that file!

Kyan~

Once Manager Shinoda places her hand on secretary Maeda’s the crowd and Kasai die! Total proof that they are so gay!

Sexy blinking!

Secretary Maeda is so moved she forgets about her woes (and how to un-delete files) and starts batting her eyelashes at Manager Shinoda.

Kasai dies some more for good measure!

Shinoda took the idea from Left Eye Detective (Hidari me Tantei). this is a new drama I think actually. Wait, I thought you were supposed to be a salary-man! And you’re doing it wrong. That’s your right eye Shinoda-san.

Not that Kasai minded. Not at all! Look at her fan herself! she is on fire!

Not every one is taken though. Sashihara finds Shinoda’s choice a little too mature for her taste. Sasshi is like the opposite of Kasai. She is very hard to impress and if I were to label her she would be a critic! Fashion critic?I thought we already have one here!

The hit points as I said before are the suit and glasses combo. And so Sata tries out the glasses as well since he already has a suit on. Before he asks Kasai what she thinks, some one in the audience cries out – ‘disgusting.’ Sata isn’t too pleased as he threatens death onto whom ever said that.

Heh! Turns out Haruka was the culprit! Oh Harugon, I thought you were a nice girl!

Manager Shinoda takes 16/20 votes. Not surprising since she came first, had Meda on her side and her acting skillz and damn it, it’s Shinoda and Maeda, duh!

Kojima Haruna.

Next up is Kojima Haruna. When they asked some of the girls, they said that she would be great. Perhaps because of her height. So excited they are  that they aren’t quite prepared for…

Jack Sparrow Kojima Haruna AKA Jack Kojiro!

LOL!

Jack Kojiro? Seriously? Alas, she actually looks almost like him. She is definitely not looking like herself.

The loli and the crowd are quite surprised. Can’t tell yet if it was good surprise or bad!

Oshima Yuko is the partner this time. I bet you fifty dollars that Yuko was in heaven this episode of AKBINGO. We all know how much she loves Harunyan and she got to get quite close this time around to her love. Yuko is Elizabeth Swann BTW. She is in peril because some pirated want to take away her priceless necklace. Jack Kojiro comes to her rescue.

Kasai is still in heat!

When Jack Kojiro goes to help a downed Beth, Beth shouts out”DON’T TOUCH ME”.

Lulz!

Seriously, she said it in engrish and I almost broke a rib laughing but the crowd didn’t! Hmmm, AKB members are in serious need of multilingual knowledge if they can’t understand what that means. They might need it when a gaijin approaches and proceeds to molest them! I won’t be one of those though!

I swear!

Korisu(Yuko) thought that Jack Kojiro was after her necklace as well but nay! Jack Kojiro is only after girl’s hearts…and rum of course!

Que heart racing, Jack Kojiro grabbing Elizabeth by the waist and pulling her in.

They lean in for a fake kiss!

The girls cry out!

Kasai is trying to stifle her laughter!

When Sata asks Yuko what she thinks of  Haruna’s choice, she thinks she’s perfect! Again she says perfect in English. Oh Yuko, we know you love your Haruna.

Matsui Jurina (SKE48)

When they ask what Jurina thinks, she says that the dreads turn her off! >_>

Why they even bother to ask the opinion of a 13 year old on this kind of subject is beyond me! And as you can see, the critic wasn’t that taken with Jack Kojiro either but we never got to hear her criticism ’cause of the loli!

Kashiwagi Yuki

Yukirin, leader of Team B and my favorite AKB/SKE48 member, liked Jack Kojiro’s cosplaying. She says that she was surprised by how different Kojima looked and that she looked the part. I thought so too. Oota Aika also liked Kojima’s Jack. She says her heart leaped in her chest when she first saw Haruna. But even though Queen Yukirin loved Kojiima’s costume…

She only got 8/20 votes! >.<

Surprisingly, horny Kasai didn’t like this one either!

Next up…

Next up……..

Matsui Rena

Finally, the reason I was awaiting this episode with an angry face for its lateness is up! Matsui Rena, the TRUE miracle girl of Team Aki.P. Exactly what miracles does Jurina make? Some body do clue me in!

These are their faces when they hear that Rena is up next. They are thinking what madness this is! A sweet and weak shy shy girlie girl Rena as a boy?!!! Na-ah!

They ask Jurina fellow SKE48 member with Rena what she thinks about Rena as a boy. She says that for as long as they’ve been together, she has yet to see Rena act even a little boyish!

Of course not! My Rena is pure damn it! Pure as virgin snow I tell ya!

Jurina says this is no good. She thinks that Rena is gonna fail! And yet she is seriously looking forward to this! She probably thinks she will get material to bribe Rena with later or something!

Every one waits for this mystery to unveil! Apparently they don’t watch their own dramas. If they did watch Majisuka Gakuen, they’d know that there are mysteries with Matsui Rena but alas! Oh well, all the better to put the shock to their system!

Here is Rena, cap by cap play! Just ’cause….

The silhouette!

By this time every one is going ‘ehhh? what what?!’ They have no idea!

Wait for it…

Wait for it……

Once the lights hit Rena’s face I screamed so much I almost didn’t hear the girls’ screams of both shock and delight!

By the Gods!

If I wasn’t whipped before, I sure as hell am now!

ZOMG! Ren…Can I call you Ren please?!!

Ren starts walking forward. Is that even a walk? It feels like she’s floating on my heart or something! God! She is into her character so much! Look the way she pushes her head forward. The way she spreads her legs! That Oh so KEWL gaze!!!

What do you have to say about that Jurina? Huh? Wait, don’t even answer that, I can see it on your face!

All the girls were so surprised.

Look at that face! Seriously, this kind of hotness should be illegal!

Oh Ren! You can shoot me any time you want! Anywhere! Nay, I prefer the heart if you don’t mind please! Straight through the heart!

Damn! I so wanna lick my screen right now but I Must. Not. Lick!

As to why Rena is bowing, she is cosplaying a hot archery club captain! A heavenly ikemen. Her partner is Takamina (Takahashi Minami) who is the club manager. She is there on the side complaining on how the club is getting bigger because all the girls want a piece of her captain Matsui!

She’s mine damn it! Mine and hina‘s alone! No sharing!

Dear Archer, you have rival here! Ren hit bulls eye three times and all through this, while I am screaming like a little kid who got a Christmas present, the audience is super quiet you can hear a pin drop! All eyes are trailed on Rena!

Sato Amina

Others look like they want to eat her, take her home or do both and not necessarily in that order! But who am I to talk, here I am restraining from munching on my new monitor! I feel your pain Amina!

After a couple of shots, Ren’s fingers are getting a little slippery, he asks for help. manager Takamina is able to provide! Queue jealousy rage at Takamina for being that close to my Ren! I wanna break this keyboard!

She even gets a smile and a thanks?!!! MADNESS!!!!!

Hmmm delicious!

Even more people turn cannibalistic! Get in line Kasai!

Takamina is in 7th heaven. I don’t envy her… I don’t! I just…I just wanna murder her!!!

Ren continues to arrow people’s hearts. You can hear the whispers of ‘She’s too cool!’ and ‘what an great expression!’

Rena goes on as if she is not hearing them!

Too cool!

But then she misses! Damn it all! That Takamina touched Ren and put a curse on him! You just cannot touch something so pure damn it!

*Triple Rage*

Look at Ren’s face, he too doesn’t believe he missed! He’s never missed since he was 4 years old for crying out loud!

The way Ren looks at her hand, then back to the bull’s eyes then back again at her hand…Oh the pain!!! I wanna hold him and sooth him until all his sorrows go away!

Jurina’s heart already belongs to Ren! No matter what she says she is taken by Ren! Yukirin is feeling the pain with me! Everyone is waiting in silence!

Takamina apologises! Yes you’d better you…you…jinx!

The angel that Ren is puts the blame on himself!

He missed only because his heart was disrupted by ME!!Me I tell ya! Not Takamina, me!

See you all in heaven!

Look at Jurina, she can’t contain the feeling! Does she even know what it is she’s feeling?!! I don’t think so.

Yukirin is blown away and so are the rest!

Even Takamina who obviously was prepared for this is speechless!

Hah!

When the lights come on, Ren de-transforms back into Rena!

The cute shy shy girlie Rena we all know and I love!

Look at the contrast! This was guy just seconds ago you know! Now she’s all different!

Jurina wants a piece of that Rena steak as well!

No one can resist the Ren!

When asked how she feels about all this, Rena responds that it was super embarrassing! Really? She didn’t look uncomfortable at all! Oh Rena! How awesome thou are!

Sata comments on how every one was going ‘Cool. Too Cool’ in the back ground.

Takamina says that Rena is just fine as a boy! For once I agree with you!

We ask Jurina what she thinks now! At first remember she said that Rena would be bad.

For some unfathomable reason, Jurina says that she was impressed. She apparently loved the silhouette but not the real thing. She just saw Rena!

WTF?!!! Is this girl an alien or something?!!! Either that or she has no shame for she was lying straight thorough her teeth! We could clearing see how taken she was by Ren. You saw her right? Go back and have a look! I could clearly see her heart drumming in her chest! There were stars in her eyes for crying out loud!

“…”

Majide okotteru!

“Can I shoot her?”

Ren is back and is not pleased! He seriously wants to hit her and I recommend it!

Jurina didn’t even vote for Rena. Can you believe that?!! Even if what she said was true, they are on the same team. She could lie!

Grrrr

Please shoot her!

Yes, you had better apologise later biatch!

Or.

As to what other NORMAL people thought, Amina want to get married!

She says the truth so I will forgive her for wanting to monopolize my Rena!

Rena is touched too so I double forgive her!

BEST

When asked of the three so far where she’d place Rena, Amina says 1st!

Quoted for truth. Hm perhaps a threesome wouldn’t be so bad!

Takajo Aki

Rena is Aki-chan’s type too!

Rena is super happy that she’s managed to steal so much love!

Now let us see how many points she gets!

9000/20

What?!!Nooooooooo!

Damn you Jurina! It’s all your fault!

Damn it all!

“I’m Happy With this.”

Rena is happy either way! She was loved the most. I know it, they know it and she knows it!

Matsui Rena ladies and gentlemen. The only reason you will ever need to be into SKE48.

I love youuuu!!! *smooch!*

Final contestant today is…

Michael Jackson!!!

Ahem…I mean Akimoto Sayaka. Possibly the strongest girl in Aki.P Co.

Everyone, yes including I, are so excited about this before the curtain lifts!

Only to see…

Oh God NO!!!!!

Just NO! This is…this is!!!

This is so bad but I just can’t stop myself from laughing! I haven’t laughed this much since…since…I can’t even remember!

NNNNGGGG!!!!

But even as we want it all to just stop and flail our arms in protest to take it away we just can not stop laughing!!!

Note: In the background Rena is still in Boy mode! Her legs are wide open!

Won’t some body please stop this MADNESS!!

But Oh! The laughter won’t stop! My ribs! My ribs!

“This is It”

This is most definitely not it Sayaka!

But we applaud your effort!

“Thank you”

And all this she says in English! And that small Jackson voice.

And when the Sata, Kiyoto and Dolce came on stage, she was still trying to do the toe standing in effort! I just can’t stop laughing at this!

Oh Sayaka!

Nobody wants! Even the critic is super ashamed for Sayaka’s sakes!

She flames and of course…

Sayaka isn’t amused!

When she scores a 7 (Whoa, the worst yet),

She asks in that Jackson voice again…”Why?“

Sasshi can’t comprehend the FAIL!

Shinoda wins this round!

Bah, talk about hollow victory! This a Rena episode! Even Sayaka Jackson will be remembered longer than she will!

When we ask Dolce what made Shinoda a winner, she says that after all, girls are hot for a combination of suit+glasses. Sata comments that Sayaka is also wearing a suit and glasses too!

LOL. Sayaka’s killer stare! But wait, there is more.

Nacchu wants in on the fun! So she steals one of the AD’s clothes (Poor guy! look at him weep) and saunters up on the stage!

Sata kicks her off for the blasphemy! I feel just like Jurina does for once!

DO NOT F****N’ WANT!!