“…”

Yes, go on and say it. I know you want to! Tell me how foolish I was, watching this right as I went into the New Year! Go on and say it! It’s not my fault that I did not realise that I had a major crush on Akimoto Sayaka until this frikkin concert! Which BTW made this way more soul crushing than even Acchan’s graduation was! Acchan was one of my Top 10 AKB girls and when I cried more on Sayaka’s graduation than I did Acchan’s there is just something quite not right! Turns out I loved Sayaka more than I even ever realised! And that realisation came far too late!

I cried so hard yet I did not even want to leave the room to go get tissues so I was all soaked through with tears when the concert ended! Everything was really perfect on this day. That ultimate touch of the other graduated 2nd Gen members coming to the concert! God! It was the Angels themselves coming down to escort Sayaka’s soul onto the highest plane of existence! And that song! That lovely song that Yasusu, that nice Dude Yasusu, went of his way to write especially for Sayaka! What a perfect song! Then the fans, even though I was like Yuko, being pissed at them for deciding to now show their love for Sayaka, it was really moving seeing only green envelope the whole Dome!

Then there is Yuko.

30% of my FEELS during this watching was because of her! If anyone did not get a heavy feeling in their throat while watching this and seeing Yuko, you are emotionless monsters you hear me? Emotionless monsters!!!!

Oh My God Yuko! It was like I could totally see the moment when she finally gave up and went “FUCK THIS, I’M SO DONE WITH THIS SHIT”! I swear toy you all, forgive me Yuko fans, all you Yuko fans out there, forgive me when I say that I would have actually jumped up in rejoicing tears if Yuko had up and quit right at that moment!

FUCK!

Ahem, forgive me but I am totally un-stable right now! And to make matters worse, When I was watching this yesternight, I did not get the caps. I had reinstalled my player and forgot to reset the capture settings so I had to fuckin watch it again today to get the caps and guess what!?! My face is all fuckin wet again!

But that was not the fuckin worst! Having calmed my tits enough to browse tumblr to father calm down, U go and see the news of Yuko announcing her graduation during Utagassen I believe? I swear my soul kind of died in that moment! Having gotten off the high of wanting Yuko to up and leave then minutes later seeing her graduation announcement…yeah…

I know this practically happened in 2013 but I can’t help but blame 2014! How can I be happy when I started the year in fuckin tears! And not the good kind either! And of course with these things, comes garbage along with it, like memories related to the same subject and so I was reminded of that conversation Yuko and Takamina had in a certain AKB48 SHOW episode about graduations and the FEELS fuckin happened all over again, realising how hurting, really hurting Yuko was! I swear I ma really surprised she waited this long to fuckin up and leave!

It’s safe to say that Team K is officially fucked now, right? Well then, brace yourselves for Team Shuffles this year lads. You heard it first from yours truly BG!

Fuck all these graduations, man, fuck em!

Thank the good Lord it seems like at 25 is when we can expect normal graduations. Which means MayuYukirin still have 3 years! I don’t think I can survive Yukrin’s Graduation and Mayuyu inevitable complete break-down! We can all agree that that will be the most FEEL-inducing graduation to ever grace the face of the earth! It’s sadistic but I am looking forward to it happening! I am sure it will be one for the records. If Yukirin is the one to graduate, I am sure Mayuyu will do something to remember! I don’t know what but shit will go down.

Anyway going back to Tokyo Dome, the surprise of the night was none other than Sae! I was actually expecting her to cry the hardest but pretty correct me if I am wrong but she did not shed a single tear, did she? I don’t know, maybe she turned her emotions off for the night or was so far gone she forgot how to cry or maybe she is just that strong hearted which really puts her at the top of my respect ladder! How could she have not cried that night!? She had to be the closest member to Sayaka, as far as I am aware so…You know what? I am so done with this post…

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